That topic being anxiety.
So allow me to explain a couple things first. I have a crappy job as a front desk clerk for an equally crappy motel on the outskirts of Baltimore city. I would say it's a mystery why I still work there, but the truth is I'm lazy and there's something else to it that is much harder to explain. Travel kinda scares me and it wraps back into greater topic of anxiety. I have this somewhat irrational fear of getting lost that I developed as a teenager. The fear that I might have gotten on the wrong bus was enough to get me sweaty. Strangely I had zero fear when I went on a trip to Chattanooga almost a decade ago with $0 so it's one of my weirder personality quirks....
So on to the meat of the problem. Back in October some 'tard with mental issues decided it would be a good night to get out his gun and do some random shooting at nothing. Being the desk clerk at the motel, I immediately called the police and connected them with the resident that told me about the event. The police showed up and stuff happened and I figured "that was that". Except it wasn't. A couple weeks later I got a subpoena to testify at the guy's trial. I tried to get a hold of the attorney in charge to be exempted from the trial, but had little luck getting a hold of her. Eventually the trial was postponed around Thanksgiving and I figured, again, that "that was that". After all, the guy had mental issues. They'd probably just throw it out and whatever the end. But then I got another subpoena 2 weeks ago for a trial coming up.... But now there was another twist in the story. Now I was miserable with the flu. As the Mic Check crowd know, I've been fighting this crap for about three weeks. So at some point my mind started wrapping around the possibilities that I might have to somehow find transportation all the way out the to the Towson court house. What if they say fuck you, you have to come and you're on your own? Towson is way to the northeast from Baltimore City. The commute by car would only take 30 minutes, but.... because I'm lazy, I don't have my license or a car. And trying to travel there by bus would be a nightmare because it triggers my fear of getting lost. And fuck spending $60+ on a cab going back & forth.... The anxiety of having to travel to Towson and the flu double-team dropkicked me in the face for a couple days making me super depressed.
Luckily, however, this story has a happy ending. I got a hold of the attorney finally and explained the situation. She was all "Oh then I definitely won't need you" so I won't have to worry at all about trekking out to Towson. So no more anxiety and this dumb flu crap is slowly but surely getting out of me. In fact, I've been coughing up some interesting looking mucus. But this whole ordeal does make me wonder seriously about anxiety. I have a younger brother who is basically confined to the house because the minute he walks out the door, he can suffer an anxiety attacks. So it's a pretty big deal to me. And it's a widespread problem with people in general have to fight with sometimes on a daily basis.
What makes you anxious? I'd like to hear about that monkey on your back.
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